I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair

I take showers at weird times. Yes, I know this is too much information but, it’s relevant to the story. I spend a lot of time wondering when I should take said showers. I like to take one before I run because it sort of wakes me up and who knows who you might run into and all that. But, really, 20 minutes into the run all shower benefits are negated. After a run, I am completely unrecognizable. Is that a word? I hope so. But, I digress. Yesterday, I took a mid-day shower and left my phone in the den. I did this on purpose because even if no one has contacted me all day, the minute I step in the shower, the phone rings, texts are received, urgent email alerts ding and whatever else can happen does. I mean, is anything ever so important that you have to get out of the shower, drip water all over the floor and check your phone? I thought not, until yesterday. Yep. When I finally got dried off, put the same shorts and tshirt on that I’ve worn all quarantine, dried my hair and all that stuff and got back to my phone, there were a ton of missed calls and texts. This is never good. Nope. The first text was from my neighbor: “What’s going on up there? There are firetrucks and cops everywhere and a deputy in your yard with a dog?” And a voicemail from my other neighbor, “If you’re home, stay inside and set your alarm.” But, I didn’t do that. Nope. Because I was late for a painting party thing. I got in my car and drove through all the cops, took note that my great guard dog had slept through the entire ordeal, totally missing out on the gorgeous police dog, and got the hell out of dodge. This is always a good strategy. Just leave. On my way out, I saw the mysterious skinny running guy just cruising along oblivious. This guy is my hero. Yep. Anyways, it turns out that yet another neighbor has developed some issues and was lost or hiding in the woods, possibly thinking he was in a war of some sort. I don’t think this is a good development. Nope. Think I’ll just skip running today. If you need me, I’ll be in the shower. Yep.