Going Up?

Not much really scares me. Well, okay, a lot of things scare me, but elevators and dentists are at the top of my list. A lot of people say death scares them but that doesn’t bother me. I’ll be dead, not scared. Lately, I’ve been on some weird dental treadmill, stuck between them and the endo guy, who, I can tell, thinks I just have a major crush on him and keep showing up for no good reason. They kinda send me back and forth, until one of them announces I need to maybe go to a third guy and they both breathe a sigh of relief. So, now, I’m not as much scared as just annoyed. Of course, now, the dentist has a new locale with an elevator. Elevator fear is kinda twofold. It’s kinda scary to get in with a perfect stranger who may be a serial killer and it’s kinda scary to get in alone and fear you’re gonna get stuck half way between floors. Neither of these things has happened to me but, hey, they could. Yep. I used to have to take an elevator up to the gym and one time, the door opened and there was the biggest guy in there I’d ever seen. He pretty much took up the entire elevator and I figured that was probably it for me. Later, I found out he was the sheriff, so it just goes to show…. preconceived notions and all that. I dated a guy who was really into stopping elevators between floors and that never really worked out well. I spent the whole time wondering if we would be stuck forever and run out of air and stuff, ruining any fantasy scenarios. Eventually, I just stopped getting on elevators entirely, electing to take the stairs. I would run up or down at record speed, as stairwells themselves seem a bit isolated. Last week, back at the dentist, I took one look at the elevator and then chose the stairs. I was in the waiting room when someone called the receptionist from their cellphone and announced that the elevator was stuck. She calmly called the building manager as if this occurred daily. I knew it! I was kind of smug about my narrow escape when someone else called to report they were stuck in the stairwell, lol! Both the top and the bottom doors had locked! I applauded their quick thinking in calling the dental office for help. If I could’ve even found my phone, I’d have probably forgotten the name of the dentist. So now, there is just no safe method to access this dental practice. I told this to the endo guy this morning and he just smiled and wrote something on the chart, then told me everything looked fine to him. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.